Broken
by AccioHoneydukes
Summary: Harry falls into depression after the Tri-Wizard tournament, and a terrible summer spent with Dursleys doesn't help matters. *WARNING* further chapters will include self-harm and abuse.
1. Chapter 1

CH1: End of the TriWizard tournament

A week had passed since the end of the Triwizard tournament and Harry was just getting out of the hospital wing. It had been Madame Pomfrey's idea to keep him there while he recovered from the third task, although Harry had complained that he was perfectly fine Dumbledore had agreed that he needed rest.

He had only been allowed out to attend the memorial feast the previous night, Dumbledore had thought that it may have given Harry some closure. He had been determined to put on a brave face and show his respect to Cedric, being that he was the last person to see him alive, and to hear his last words when he came back through the priori incantatem spell.

Harry also felt he was somewhat to blame for Cedric's death, he may not have been the one to cast the spell, but he had insisted that they both take the cup. _How could he have been so stupid?_ He had asked himself countless times that week. something was clearly going to happen at some point, someone had entered his name into the tournament and it wasn't just to give him a chance to win the prize money, this was that persons last chance to get to him before the tournament ended, he should have seen it coming.

He spent the whole feast in silence, contemplating what had happened in the maze, waving off Hermione's insistence that he eat, he just couldn't stomach anything especially not with so many eyes wandering in his direction.

Many of these eyes came from the staff table, McGonagall was complaining quietly to Dumbledore about how Harry shouldn't have been isolated from his friends, how he was clearly struggling with current events. Dumbledore had to agree, although he thought Harry needed some time alone, he was clearly despondent from even his friends and with only a week until the end of term he couldn't afford for him to fall even further. The decision was made that night for Harry to move back to Gryffindor tower the following morning.

Harry didn't have the best start to the morning, he'd had another nightmare; he was in the graveyard again and he could see Cedric and a figure moving out of the darkness, he tried to shout for Cedric to run but nothing came out, he tried to run towards him maybe this time he could point him towards the danger or push him out the way, but no matter how fast Harry tried to run he didn't get any further. _Was everything moving in slow motion?_ No, he could clearly see Cedric and the shadow moving at normal pace, it must just be him. There was nothing he could do, he was forced to re-live the moment yet again, the figure became visible in the moonlight; 'Kill the spare' the snakelike voice said, a flash of green light and he looked away as he waited for Cedric to drop to the ground.

The noise of a body hitting the ground didn't come, Harry looked back up. Something was different, Cedric was still standing, but he was so still and still engulfed in the green light, slowly Cedric turned to face Harry looking him straight in the eye with a hateful look and spoke; 'Why did you do this to me Harry?'. Cedric finished speaking and Harry's world fell into darkness.

He awoke to someone shaking him, he opened his eyes in panic and jumped back, it was only Madame Pomfrey who was looking at him with a mix of sympathy and worry.

'you were just having a bad dream dear everything is okay, it's time for breakfast then you are to return to Gryffindor tower' Madame Pomfrey gave Harry a sceptical look; 'that is, unless you are still feeling a bit peaky you look rather pale dear, you could stay another night?'.

'n..n..no I'm okay thank you, like you said it was just a dream' Harry replied and summoned the best smile he could. Madame Pomfrey smiled back at him and then returned to her office. Harry looked to his left to find his breakfast, but not feeling particularly hungry after his nightmare, merely nibbled on a piece of toast until he felt like he was going to bring it back up then he stopped.

Knowing Madame Pomfrey would not be pleased with his attempt at eating breakfast, Harry quickly got up and dressed and before he could be trapped in the hospital wing for another night, he left for Gryffindor tower.

As Harry was approaching the portrait, he realised he did not have this week's password, having stayed in the hospital wing all week. Reaching the end of the corridor he was met with; 'Password?', he looked up apprehensively at the fat lady in the portrait.

'Any chance just this once you could let me in?'.

'no I'm sorry, no password, no entry, even the boy who lived must adhere to the new security measures the headmaster has put in place'.

Harry sighed, and turned to walk away but heard the portrait opening. 'Harry, your back, how are you feeling?', it was Neville.

'Better thankyou Neville, errm.. do you mind telling me the new password, I haven't seen anyone yet'?

'of course, the new password is 'courage', I think that's the first time in four years someone has actually asked me for the password, everyone just assumes I will have forgotten' Neville gave a small laugh and smiled at Harry which Harry returned.

'Thanks Neville, see you later'.

'see you later Harry', with that Harry turned to climb through the portrait hole.

Once inside Harry suddenly regretted not taking up Madame Pomfrey's offer of another night in the infirmary, everyone turned to stare at him. Harry stood still for a moment, unable to look anyone in the face as he felt his own getting redder and redder until he summoned the courage to walk through and make his way up to the boy's dormitory.

A minute later and Ron joined him, 'Hi Harry, how are you feeling? why didn't you come say hi to me and Hermione'?

'Sorry Ron I didn't see you both, everyone was just staring, and I couldn't stay in there'. Ron's face softened 'it's okay mate I understand, they'll all go back to their miserable lives soon enough, it's not like you've never had this sort of attention before is it, oh mighty heir of Slytherin' Ron finished with a bow.

Harry froze for a moment and then burst into laughter, 'wow thanks Ron, can always count on you to cheer me up',

'well, that's what friends are for isn't it' replied Ron with a grin 'joking aside mate, me and Hermione are here for you if you want to talk'.

'Thanks, I'm okay though really just glad to be out of the hospital wing finally, and I can't believe we only have another week left of term, I'm dreading returning to the Dursley's'.

'I'll send an owl to mum and see if she can convince Dumbledore to let you come straight to ours this year, your practically part of the family now anyway'.

This really cheered Harry up, 'Thanks, that would be great, the whole summer playing quidditch instead of hiding from Dudley in case he gets hungry and I'm in his line of vision'.

'Ha-ha, he would be disappointed there's not much meat on you mate'.

'Ha-ha, actually I'm starving I didn't eat much for breakfast, want to go the kitchens for a snack'?

'Who do you think you're asking…' Harry raised his eyebrow at Ron 'obviously I want to go get food, let's get Hermione and go, that's if she's not already halfway into reading next year's curriculum, I mean we had our exams a week ago she's had plenty of time'.

Both boys made their way down the staircase and ignoring the stares, strode over to collect Hermione, a few minutes of persuasion to put down the books and they were soon making their way out the portrait hole and down to the kitchens.


	2. Chapter 2

CH2: Journey home

The rest of the week passed quickly, the stares started to die down and Harry, Ron, and Hermione spent most of their afternoons down by the lake in the summer sun, and their evenings in the common room by the fire drinking hot chocolate and playing exploding snap and wizards' chess.

Although Harry was joining in with his friends, he was finding it hard, he was increasingly tired, waking multiple times a night due to nightmares he had resorted to putting a silencing charm around his bed to avoid waking his dorm mates.

Harry was also extremely anxious about his impending return to the Dursley's, Ron had sent an owl to Mrs Weasley and she had vowed to get Dumbledore to let Harry stay at the Burrow, her efforts had resulted in a meeting in the headmaster's office which Harry and Ron were sent for. Entering the office was awkward, they had clearly just stumbled in on the dying embers of an argument, seeing Mr and Mrs Weasley and Sirius already sitting around the desk each with their arms crossed.

'Ah, Mr Potter and Mr Weasley, I have just been chatting with your parents and guardians, they both are intent on you, Mr Potter staying with them over the summer'.

'Them? Sirius are you staying at the burrow'? asked Ron

Chiming in before Sirius could answer, Dumbledore spoke 'No Mr Weasley, due to the increased security threat, it has been decided that your family will spend the summer at the black family residence.'

'And Harry, right'?

'unfortunately.…' Dumbledore began but was interrupted by Mrs Weasley.

'no.. the headmaster seems to think that Harry would be safer staying with his aunt and uncle instead of with his family who care about him, where he would be surrounded by order members who could protect him much better than some muggle could'

'Order?' asked Harry

'oh that's nothing to worry about right now dear, its just…'

Dumbledore interrupted before Mrs Weasley could continue 'I have assessed the options and believe the protections around the Dursley's are superior to even those around Hogwarts and Harry can not be harmed while he is there. We could assess later in the summer whether Harry can join you, but the wards require his presence if they are to remain active, and I don't see a reason as to why Harry should not spend some of the summer with his own family'.

'Maybe because they hate me' Offered Harry. The room went silent.

Once Dumbledore had recovered he said, 'Oh Harry hate is a strong word, and I don't believe anyone could hate you my boy, they are merely afraid of something they don't understand but maybe you could spend the summer trying to build some bridges, in the times ahead it is best to keep all friends and family close'

Sirius couldn't listen to anymore 'Dumbledore please I value your opinion, but I am Harry's guardian and I want him to spend the summer with me, we have plenty of protection at Grimmauld place, he can't go back to the Dursley's'.

'I'm afraid it is just not an option right now; besides it would be putting everyone at Grimmauld place at even greater danger'. Dumbledore said this with a meaningful glance at Harry.

'oh, don't be stupid' shouted Sirius getting to his feet, 'He's not putting anyone in danger, he's my god-son and what I say goes'.

Harry thought over what Dumbledore had just said, yes, his life at the Dursleys was miserable but could he really put others at danger just to spend time with his friends? He had survived the last 14 years with the Dursley's he was sure he could survive a few weeks there. He had come to his decision.

Harry emerged from his thoughts and looked up to discover a one-sided shouting match had erupted, Sirius and Mrs Weasley were on their feet complaining at Professor Dumbledore who sat calmly behind his desk replying calmly, waiting for their anger to dissipate.

'I will stay with the Dursley's' Harry said sheepishly. Everyone grew quiet and turned to look at him, Dumbledore with a small smile on his face. 'Professor Dumbledore is right, maybe I should spend some time trying to fix things between me and the Dursley's'. Harry couldn't help but mentally laugh at his own statement, that he and the Dursley's would never see eye to eye, but if he could keep his friends and family safe then he would do it.

'This is your fault Albus, Harry don't listen to him I know you have a need to protect people but I'm telling you, you're not putting anyone in danger' pleaded Sirius.

'I do NOT have a need to save people, I have made my decision please respect that' Harry said a bit more angrily than he had planned on. 'I'll see you later in the summer'. With his closing remark Harry stood up and left the office, feeling a bit overwhelmed he sped up to get away before anyone could follow him, so he could spend some time alone.

Harry became more and more anxious as the week went on, the last time he had seen the Dursleys had been when he was collected by the Weasley's to go to the Quidditch world cup, the Weasleys' had arrived through the fireplace and destroyed the living room, and the twins had seen fit to trick Dudley into eating a ton tongue toffee. He hadn't yet faced the repercussions of that particular incident.

All too quickly the last day of term arrived, and all the students were making their way down the Hogsmeade to board the Hogwarts Express to London, Harry Ron and Hermione found an empty compartment and were soon joined by Neville, Fred, George and Ginny. They were all having fun playing exploding snap, Fred and George had won a record number of times and Harry had the suspicion that they were cheating.

As much as he was enjoying the games, Harry was having trouble concentrating, his mind just kept wandering and he found himself staring out the window being shook by one of the others when they realised that he wasn't playing. He decided to stop playing, he just couldn't pay attention, instead he spent the journey pretending to read Quidditch through the ages, subconsciously feeling the stares of his worried friends.

When they finally reached Kings Cross, the group disembarked and made their way through to the muggle world. Mr and Mrs Weasley and Mr and Mrs Granger were waiting off to the side with huge smiles on their faces clearly glad to see their children. The group rushed over to see their respective parents while Harry dawdled along behind them. After being embraced by Mrs Weasley Harry reluctantly said his goodbyes and made his way through to crowd in search of the Dursley's.

The Dursley's were nowhere to be found, so Harry took a seat off to the side on a bench and waited… and waited… and waited. It was two hours before Harry decided to do something, he found some muggle money in his backpack and tried to call the landline.

'Hello, Petunia Dursley speaking'.

'Hi aunt Petunia, I got back from school today, I'm at the train station is Uncle Vernon going to be picking me up soon'?

Aunt petunia sighed 'Don't be silly, we won't be spending all that petrol money on you, your much too old to get picked up, you can make your own way here'.

Harry stood in shock at the sound of Aunt Petunia hanging up the phone, he couldn't help but think back to the looks on the faces of all the families waiting for their children to return for the summer and the image of Lily and James potter standing at the station with all the other parents filled his head.

Seeing no other option Harry started to make his way through the station, he was much too tired and upset to attempt the train journey, so Harry hailed down a cab and gave his directions, there was a little fuss over the drivers reluctance to transport a large bird but Harry managed to convince him with the promise of a large tip. It was going to cost a fortune in cab fair compared to a train ticket, but what else was a kid with his dead parent's fortune going to do, its not like he had gone crazy with his spending in the past.

The journey to the Dursley took just over an hour, Harry paid the cab driver and started to make his way to the front door and rang the doorbell.


	3. Chapter 3

CH3: 'Home'

Unexpectedly Harry's reception at the Dursley's went rather well, going by the standards of the Dursley's anyway. The door was not slammed straight in his face, of course he was completely ignored (with the exception of Uncle Vernon's lecture on how he was to behave).

Harry was to keep up with his chores if he wanted to eat, every morning he would be presented with a list of chores which should be completed by the time Uncle Vernon got home from work. When he was not doing chores, he was to return to his room and pretend he doesn't exist or to be absent from the house, if harry broke these rules then he would be locked in his room with no food until he learnt to abide by the rules.

After Uncle Vernon's address, Harry made his way up to his bedroom with his trunk and Hedwig's cage to find it much as he had left it, dull and depressing. Trying to make the most of a bad situation, Harry decided to have a bit of a tidy, it sometimes helped him to keep busy when he was feeling anxious and returning to the Dursley's was enough to make anybody anxious.

Harry collected a rag from the closet on the landing and wet it under the bathroom tap so that he could give the room a much-needed dust, Harry suspected the Dursley's locked off his room when he was at Hogwarts, so they could better pretend that he didn't exist. He also unpacked some of his belongings that he would need over the summer, such as his muggle clothes, he was careful to put his most treasured belongings into the loose floorboard beneath his bed; his photo album containing his only photographs of his parents and his invisibility cloak. After the fiasco of the third task and the return of Voldemort to his body, Harry decided that it would be idiotic not to carry his wand at all times or to have it close by in his bedroom ready for an attack by death eaters, so he tucked his wand under his pillow for now.

Now that his room was in order, Harry lay on his bed, he was exhausted after his long day of travelling. _Well I'm Home_ Harry thought, he couldn't stop the tears coming to his eyes at how unwelcome and unwanted he felt in his 'Home'. Just like many times over the last 14 years, Harry's thoughts wandered to what his life would have been like with parents, someone to care for him and love him, a proper home where he would actually feel welcome.

Before he got too worked up, Harry decided to get some sleep, he was extremely tired after all. Just as he was getting settled for bed, Harry had a sudden thought, he had been using silencing charms for the last week around his bed to stop his nightmares from waking his roommates… But he couldn't perform magic here. With a sinking feeling in his stomach he decided there was nothing he could do about it and hoped against hope that the change of setting would help his nightmares. _Maybe now he was away from Hogwarts, away from the attention, his nightmares would ease off slightly?_

…

Harry's hopes were dashed just a few hours later when he woke himself up screaming, he quickly shut up, but the damage had been done as he heard the sound of angry stamping in the hallway, then three booming bangs on his door.

'Shut up in there boy or there will be trouble'.

Harry let out a sigh of relief at the sound of his Uncle's retreating footsteps. Deciding it would be best to just stay awake to avoid a repeat incident Harry retrieved a book from his trunk and started to read, since the return of Voldemort he had taken a keen interest in advanced defensive spells, he couldn't stand to let anyone else die because he was not prepared to protect them, he couldn't let anyone else down as he had let Cedric down.

But as much as Harry tried to concentrate on his book, he just couldn't, he read the same sentence five times and he still couldn't tell you what it said, so he gave up and resorted to staring at the ceiling. All Harry could think about was how he was going to get some sleep over the summer, he couldn't use magic, so he was going to have to come up with a clever plan to stop himself shouting the house down.

The morning came far too quickly for Harry's liking, upon hearing the alarm clock from his Aunt and Uncle's bedroom he got up and dressed for the day, in some older jeans and t shirt, he guessed that the Dursley's would have saved up some rather difficult and unpleasant chores to celebrate his first day back and it wasn't worth ruining some of his better clothes, and boy was he right.

He arrived in the kitchen to a long list of gruelling chores, the grass needed mowing, the flower beds needed pruning, the drive and patio needed jet washing, the gutters needed cleaning, and the hedges needed trimming. This was only the beginning of the list, so he decided to get started straight away if he wanted to eat that night.

Around lunch time he had got a surprising amount of work done, just as he went to collect the gardening sheers to start on the hedges, when he was greeted by Dudley. Dudley had slimmed down slightly since the last time Harry had seen him, owing to his new-found interest in boxing, Harry wasn't surprised by his choice in activity he had been using him as a punching bag for years.

'Hey scar-face, heard your screaming last night, did you look in a mirror again'?

Harry looked straight at him and deadpanned 'no, I saw a picture of you again, the walls are lined with them it's difficult to get away really'.

Next thing Harry knew he was on the floor, after a punch to the gut from Dudley, he had to admit boxing had improved his technique, it hurt much more than he remembered. He looked up to see the large form of his cousin standing over him.

'Don't talk to me like that scar-face, or I'll tell dad you were doing something freaky'. Dudley then walked away leaving Harry to get himself off the floor to continue with his list of chores, although he enjoyed winding Dudley up, he regretted having to spend the rest of his day doing chores with a horrid pain in his stomach. Luckily Harry had got the worst of the chores out the way, trimming the hedge took way longer than it should have but all that remained on the list were indoor jobs, So Harry tidied up all the gardening tools into the shed, brushed himself off and made his way inside to get all the floors cleaned, the laundry done, the bathrooms cleaned top to bottom and he started preparing the dinner for that night.

When half six arrived, Harry was extremely proud that he had completed all of the chores on the list. He was also smug when he saw the look on Uncle Vernon's face when he learnt that Harry had managed to complete the list despite the fact he had purposely written the list so long that Harry could not possibly complete it. Grudgingly Uncle Vernon was forced to allow Harry to have some food, even if it was only scraps, he definitely wasn't going to get more than that.

Harry enjoyed the little food he was allowed, he had worked hard all day after all, after the Dursley's had finished their mountain of food, Harry cleaned up then disappeared up to his bedroom. It was only 7:30 but Harry was exhausted from his long day and besides, Aunt Petunia had a friend coming round and Harry was supposed to act like he didn't exist.

Being so tired Harry decided to have a nap then wake up later to get started on his summer homework.

…

Only his nap didn't really go to plan…

…

One second Harry was asleep with images of green light and blank eyes filling his vision, the next and Harry was awake after the sound of his door slamming open and he was met with the sight of Uncle Vernon's angry purple face.

'What do you think you are doing boy? Why are you making such a racket, is that what they teach you to do for attention in that freaky school of yours?'

All Harry could do was stare and shake, his senses still hadn't quite returned to him.

'well boy... what is the problem? Do you need me to beat some sense into you?'

Still Harry said nothing, he couldn't even process the words coming out of Uncle Vernon's mouth, his ears were still ringing with the echo of Cedric's scream.


	4. Chapter 4

*TW ABUSE*

CH 4: Sleep

'_well boy... what is the problem? Do you need me to beat some sense into you?'_

_Still Harry said nothing, he couldn't even process the words coming out of Uncle Vernon's mouth, his ears were still ringing with the echo of Cedric's scream. _

…

Harry came to his senses just in time to duck out the way and stop of Vernon's large purple fist making contact with the side of his head.

'Whaadya doing?' Harry asked gruffly, his throat felt rather sore.

'teaching you manners, you little freak. Your up here making all that racket while your Aunt was talking to her friend' Uncle Vernon spat back.

'Oh, I'm sorry Uncle Vernon, I didn't mean to make a racket'

'But you still did you ungrateful brat, every year you come back from that school and something goes wrong, last year out front room was blown up, the year before you worked your freaky ways and hurt my dear Marge. I'm not having it anymore, it's the end of it I tell you, starting right now your going to act normal'. As uncle Vernon was saying this, he had travelled back to the bedroom door and Harry watched in fear as he shut it still standing in the room.

'From now on boy you act with respect, you will not make a noise, you will complete all your chores and then you will return to your room, where you will stay until the morning, you hear me?'

'yes, Uncle Vernon… is that everything?' Harry asked nervously waiting for Vernon to leave the room.

'No, I should have done this years ago, but your Aunt wouldn't have it. Things have gone too far; this is what will happen if you do not follow the rules' Uncle Vernon said and then lunged at Harry before he knew what was happening.

Harry struggled to get out of his clutches, but his size was nothing in comparison to Vernon's giant frame. Before he could get away his Uncle managed to rip down the back of his shirt, and he then heard the sound of his Uncle unbuckling his belt. Harry shrank into the corner in the shadow of his Uncle.

'Turn around.' Vernon said in a malicious voice.

Harry had no choice but to do what he said, and he turned shaking, trying to make himself as small as possible.

Harry had never felt pain like what happened next, one second he heard a sound like a whip, the next he felt a sharp fiery pain across his back. The pain made Harry's head spin and he nearly fell, but he didn't want to give Vernon the satisfaction so with all his strength he kept standing.

Two more hits later and Harry had no choice but to fall to his knees, his whole back felt like it was on fire, he reached to feel his back and his fingers came back with traces of blood on them.

'That was just a taster boy'. Uncle Vernon said as he started to make his way out of the room, stopping at the door. 'Tomorrow you will stay in your room with no food….'.

'Reply to me boy.' Uncle Vernon snapped.

'Yes, Sir.' Harry replied with a croaky voice.

'That was only a taste of what you'll get if you cross my rules again, I'm going to beat the freakiness out of you if it's the last thing I do'

'Yes, Sir' Harry replied before Uncle Vernon left the room with the sound of the click of the lock on the outside of his door which let Harry know he was locked in.

Harry crumpled to the floor in a ball, he couldn't quite believe what just happened, Uncle Vernon had never been kind to him, but he didn't think he could ever go this far. It hadn't even been his fault, who could control what they did in their sleep? His first thought was to contact someone to come get him, he knew he had to stay here to keep the others safe, but surely Dumbledore didn't mean this…

Then he remembered the look Dumbledore had given him in his office…

… If he told someone, they would definitely take him away, they would have to… and he would put all the Weasleys and Sirius in danger. How could he put the people he called family in danger?

He had already been the cause of his parent's death, could he really let himself be responsible for the deaths of Mr and Mrs Weasley too? could he subject Ron to the same problems he himself faced with no parents?

No. He couldn't. He was going to have to figure this out on his own, as long as he kept quiet and did his chores, he would be okay, he would get by, its not like Vernon was going to kill him.

The only problem was keeping quiet, he didn't know how he was going to control his nightmares, its not as though he could go the entire holiday without sleep, he didn't have a clue how he was going to solve this problem.

Deciding sleep wasn't going to be a problem that night, for he was in far too much pain, he pulled himself up onto his bed and sat on the edge. He didn't have a clue what he was going to do, he couldn't exactly lie down could he. Carefully he got the old rag he had used to clean last night and dabbed his back; the cloth came back with a few blood spots but nothing major. Once he had cleaned his back the best he could, he found a t-shirt in his wardrobe and pulled off the old ripped one and placed it in the small bin in the corner of his room.

Harry glanced at the clock; it was half past ten, he thought maybe he had better look at ways of solving his sleeping problem so he retrieved all of his school books from the last four years of Hogwarts from his trunk and carefully sat at his small desk, ensuring his back did not make contact with the back of his chair. Seeing as he couldn't do magic at home, he decided to start with herbology textbooks, if he could find some type of plant that could stop him sleeping or stop him dreaming he could order it by owl mail from the apothecary in Diagon Alley, and then he may be in with a chance of surviving the summer holidays…


	5. Chapter 5

CH5: Letters

The night slowly turned to morning as Harry poured over his textbooks. The only really useful things he found required magic, and he wasn't allowed to use magic outside of school.

He even discovered he wasn't allowed to brew potions at home, as potion making requires the use of a person's magic and it would set off the ministry alarms apparently. He'd never even thought about this before, having hated the subject at school and never really felt the need to brew a potion at home.

However, he would still be able to order some potions, whilst looking through his potions textbook he came across the dreamless sleep potion. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought about it before, the dreamless sleep potion had worked wonders after the third task.

He wrote out his order to send off to the apothecary as soon as Hedwig returned from her hunt.

As Harry heard the house come to life, he felt a pang of anxiety, he was going to be trapped in his room all day with no food like Vernon had told him last night. How was he going to cope locked up here all day? Sure, he'd done it in the past, but so many things had happened recently he wasn't sure how he was going to cope locked away with his own thoughts all day.

He never thought he would see the day that he would rather be downstairs with the Dursley's doing chores rather than locked up in his room all day.

Harry jumped when he heard a knock at the window, turning quickly, much too quickly for his aching back, he winced. He saw Hedwig, she was back from her hunt and she was carrying a parcel. Harry slowly rose from his desk chair, being more mindful of his back and opened the window to let her in.

Hedwig hopped in, and Harry untied the small parcel from her leg, after which she flew to her cage with the intention of taking a nap.

'No girl, I need you to deliver a letter' Harry spoke, approaching the desk to fetch the letter.

Hedwig let out a disgruntled trill as if she knew exactly what Harry just said. Harry raised an eyebrow at her as he turned to tie the letter to her leg. He had always been curious to know if Hedwig could understand what he was saying, he decided to test it out further some time.

Hedwig didn't appear to want to move, for she stayed exactly where she was, even after Harry gave her a little encouraging nudge towards the cage opening.

'Please girl, I really need some stuff from the apothecary. I'm desperate.' Harry pleaded.

Hedwig must have sensed her human's plight as she shook out her wings then flew straight out the window.

Harry decided to open his package that Hedwig had delivered so he fetched it from the windowsill and lay carefully on his bed, most of the sting had gone from his back but he now had a deep muscle ache.

Harry opened the parcel to find two letters and a pack of Mrs Weasley's chocolate chip cookies. The letters were from Hermione and Sirius. Harry decided to start with Hermione's, he was curious how a letter from Hermione could find its way into a package with Mrs Weasley's cookies and a letter from Sirius considering Hermione had gone home with her parents. The letter read:

_Hi Harry,_

_You're probably wondering how I could have possibly sent a letter along with one from Sirius, well long story short; the order caught an undercover death eater near my home, and as a precaution Dumbledore decided it would be safer for me to stay with the Weasleys and Sirius. He thinks that the death eaters may have tried to ambush me as I am close to order members and might know some information. They thought I was an easy target living amongst muggles, but they didn't know the order was watching out for me._

_I'm completely fine don't worry, I'd rather be here at the centre of everything anyway, we really can't wait for you to join us. _

_All the Weasleys say hi and Mrs Weasleys sent some cookies, she is so upset you can't come here yet, she sees you as one of her own you know. _

_I hope you are well Harry, please know we are here for you if you need to talk and make sure you take care of yourself, Mrs Weasley will go spare if you come back any skinnier than you left!_

_We love you Harry._

_Hermione x_

Harry felt his heart rate speed up, he felt like his breath had been knocked out of him. Hermione had been put in danger because of him, because they were friends, how could he be so stupid. That's when Harry realised, no matter what he did, those around him would always be in danger, he needed to stay away, he needed to protect those he loved.

Something else about the letter had also caught his attention; _What the hell is the order?_ Harry thought, hadn't Mrs Weasley mentioned something about it in Dumbledore's office? Why is it everyone knew what was going on except for him? Maybe they didn't trust him, after all it was his fault Voldemort was back and Cedric was dead.

He scrunched the letter into a ball in anger and threw it in the direction of the bin, tossing Sirius' letter into the corner. He decided he wouldn't open or respond to any more letters, he needed to distance himself from those he loved, it was the only way he could protect them.


End file.
